First Love(s)

First Loves(s)
Rick was seized with some serious soul-searching this weekend. His current heart throb is resisting his overtures because, "You don't know anything about Love. You have a different girlfriend every year. You can't make a commitment. "

We were in the car as he was pondering what to do about this perception. He resolved the issue by saying, "Well, if it doesn't work out with Girl1, then Girl2 likes me and she sure is cute."

Either Or

Either/Or
Via Curmudgeonry

Hardback or Paperback - I love hardback books but recently switched to paperback unless I'm certain it's a keeper
Highlight or Underline - and scribble in the margin
Lewis or Tolkien - Easy choice
E.B. White or A.A. Milne
T.S. Eliot or e.e. cummings - Hard choice - takes me back to my college years. Haven't read either since then.
Stephen King or Dean Koontz - neither. I've read King but not Koontz
Barnes & Noble or Borders - Borders is closer
Waldenbooks or B. Dalton- neither
Fantasy or Science Fiction - neither
Horror or Suspense - neither
Bookmark or Dogear - I have a collection of bookmarks, but I usually use whatever slip of paper that's handy
Large Print or Fine Print - I'm getting old
Hemingway or Faulkner
Fitzgerald or Steinbeck
Homer or Plato
Geoffrey Chaucer or Edmund Spenser
Pen or Pencil
Looseleaf or Notepad
Alphabetize: By Author or By Title
Shelve: By Genre/Subject or All Books Together - But it ends up all books together after the other readers in the house hit the shelves
Dustjacket: Leave it On or Take it Off - usually that's my bookmark
Novella or Epic
John Grisham or Scott Turrow
J.K. Rowling or Lemony Snicket - She wrote the book that finally spurred one son to read
John Irving or John Updike
Salman Rushdie or Don Delillo - I've never read either one
Fiction or Non-fiction - About ten years ago, I gave myself permission to read fiction which I love.
Historical Biography or Historical Romance - Both, as long as it's well-written
Reading Pace: A Few Pages per Sitting or Finish at Least a Chapter - or until I fall asleep
Short Story or Creative Non-fiction Essay
Blah Blah Blah or Yada Yada Yada
“It was a dark and stormy night…” or “Once upon a time…”
Books: Buy or Borrow - As I said, I'm a bibliophile, but I usually borrow non-fiction. It's rare that I reread non-fiction.
Book Reviews or Word of Mouth - I read reviews but I believe word of mouth

High School

High School
Yesterday was the first day of the first year of high school for the twins. How can that be? Where are my little boys? Who are these strange men-boys in my house?

Unlike some teens, the boys still talk to us about their day - who they met, first impressions of teachers, the pretty girl on the bus. ("She might be the ONE!") Mom, who came home for Aimee's wedding, spent the evening with us and I'm not sure what she made of all the teen chatter. Ricky asked her what my high school years were like. Luckily she refrained from telling any of my rebellious teen stories, which I'm sure he was hoping to hear. She seems only to remember the good times. I hope I'm the same with my boys.

A couple from church whose twin boys are raised sent us a note last spring: "Enjoy your boys. We are." I needed that encouragement because raising teens can be hard. It is easy to get caught up in their emotional turmoil and not enjoy them for just who they are at the moment.

Flowers for All

Late Summer Bouquets
My niece called late last week and asked if I could provide flowers for 8-10 tables for her informal wedding celebration last Saturday in Indianapolis. I said yes and then gulped because my garden is in its late summer doldrums. So I did what younger sisters do - I called Peg for help. She has a beautiful garden, but was in the same situation. Summer blooms are spent and fall blooms aren't out yet. The rudbeckia looks nice but Aimee's colors were pink and blue and white.

So we bought Stargazer lilies to tie the outdoor bouquets into the indoor bouquets she had and also to anchor the outdoor bouquets with some bulk. Aimee provided blue-green quart ball jars with sand and shells in the bottom because they got married on the beach in the Virgin Islands. Peg and I picked what we had and were amazed at the variety and beauty of the blooms. Pink and white cosmos with its ferny foliage, white cleome, a stalky pure blue wildflower, and obedient plant came from my garden. Pink daisy-like mums, blue salvia spikes, small white allium flowers, and a few zinnias came from Peg's garden. Peg had dainty satin bows with long tails left from her daughter's wedding to finish the bouquets. The bouquets were beautiful.

School Shopping

Sizing by Area
I give the twins a back-to-school clothing allowance and they choose their own clothes, but I insist that they try them on for my inspection before we buy them. The jeans that Ron tried on looked great, so I didn't do any further checking when he selected three more pairs. When he donned a new pair of jeans yesterday, he couldn't breathe and was stumbling on the excess length. Well, he could not find any 34/32 jeans so he bought three pairs of 32/34.

The boys are very different in physique and Rick was appalled at having to buy his clothes in the boys section. The styles are the same as in the men's section, so no one else will know...except everyone who reads this blog!

The trip back to the store to exchange the jeans, though, cost me another $100 somehow. Shoes, shirts, umbrellas and sunglasses - all the essentials no matter what the weather.

School shopping gets to be a bigger chore every year, and much more expensive. But no complaints from me because this end-of-summer ritual will be a thing of the past all too soon.

I'm Back

I'm back
Mom and I worked hard packing for her move home and had a good visit at the same time. We almost finished packing her sewing room/den, and the supplies and a packing process are in place for Mom to continue packing. We got slowed down with memorabilia, including reading letters that Dad wrote to her from France during the war. What great letters - funny and poignant and thoughtful. She thought I read them when I was younger, but that was my sister.

We also started packing her china and crystal. I had her write the provenance of some pieces, because I just won't remember what was my grandmother's and great-grandmother's.

I made a dent on her books but when I thought I was finished, she showed me two closets filled with books. I am a bibliophile legitimately.

Mom and Dad moved to Arkansas in 1981. I was shocked. Kids were suppose to move away from their parents, not the other way around. And why Arkansas? Mom's from Indiana and Dad's from the East Coast. But they loved their small community in the Ozarks and we spent many great vacations there. I felt sorrow for the passing of this time, and I cannot imagine what Mom must feel, especially as it was her last home with Dad.

I'm already three hours late leaving for Mom's, but thought I'd dash off one more message. Posting will be light to non-existent for the next several weeks. Meanwhile here are some sites I enjoy(and someday I will add a blogroll):
Curmudgeonry
Sand in the Gears
Lilek's Daily Bleat
Tulip Girl
A Little Ardvaark (but he's taking a break also but check out the old posts)
Real Live Preacher
The Lingual Nerve
Diary of the Food Whore (watch language)

And for some political sites:
Instapundit
Day-By-Day (cartoon)
Tongue Tied (on being PC)

Enjoy!

Blackberry and toad lilies

Spotted Blackberries and Toads
Lilies, that is. My garden is abloom in dots.

The unfortunately-named toad lily, or Tricyrtis hirta, is blooming by the front door under the clematis and next to the astilbe. I have two cultivars, both gifts so I do not know their names. They are starting to spread and I think I will be very happy with their neat appearance. The flowers are gorgeous but small, so it is nice to have them by the sidewalk to enjoy them.

Scattered among several gardens are blackberry lilies, Belamcanda chinensis, in the flowering, pod and seed stages. The start came from Aunt Barbara and they freely self-seed, but have never been a nuisance.

Mom's coming home...for good! She finally sold her home in Arkansas and will be moving back to be near her five children and their spouses, fifteen grandchildren (including spouses) and six great-grandchildren. I will be so happy to have her near me. It will be a hard transition since she moved away about 20 years ago and she has to establish herself again. Her social life was very active in Arkansas, so now she has to find a new church home, a bridge club, a painting group, a Red Hat Society and other activities that she enjoys. I'm heading out later this week to help her start with the packing. Since she is moving from a home with LOTS of storage to an apartment, deciding what to keep, what to give away, what to throw away and what to store will be emotionally wrenching for both of us. My goal, though, is to make this move as easy as possible for her. My sister will be going down later to continue the process and I hope to be able to squeeze in another trip before the final move, if I can work it into the school schedule of husband and sons.

Here's our criteria for the move: "Do not keep anything in your home that you do not know to be useful or believe to be beautiful." - William Morris

This sounds great, but it ignores the impractical and less than beautiful sentimental items.

Blueberry Picking

I Found My Maker on Blueberry Acre
OK, so that's bad, but it kept going through my head as I picked 13.8 pounds of fresh blueberries today at Blueberry Acres, just a few miles from my house. They are clean and in the freezer. We use them almost exclusively in pancakes - just throw a few on the uncooked side of the pancake before you flip it. Last year we ran out in February, so we are going back tomorrow to pick some more. Antioxidants for all.

The low tonight is suppose to be in the 40s, setting a record for low temps on this day. It makes working outside pleasant but I am NOT ready for fall.

If you decide to go blueberry picking, do not wear sandals. I finally took them off and went barefoot. So now my fingers and toes are both blue.

Magazines

Magazines
At The Lake last Sunday, my sister handed me a present, tied with a pretty ribbon and a nice long handwritten note: The Limbaugh Letters. She's trying to convert me, ever since she read my post about not listening to him.

Before we tightened our belts, while I was still working, here are some of the pubs we got:
Canoe and Kayak
Horticulture
Fine Gardening
Garden Design
Smithsonian
Discover
Fortune
Newsweek
Green Prints-The Weeders Digest

Peg (my sister) gives me her back issues of Discover and Good News, and she gave me a gift subscription to Christianity Today. Friend Susan gives me her back issues of Smithsonian and National Geographic and friend Renee gives me back issues of Fortune. Does anyone want to share their gardening magazines with me?

To what magazines do you subscribe? This is an excellent way to quickly get to know someone and initiate conversations about their interests. When I was in sales (yes, reinsurance sales is on my dusty resume), this was one of my favorite questions to ask a prospect over dinner. What's in your magazine rack or beside your bed or by the toilet or piling up on any flat surface or all of the above?

Cheesehead
Ron is a Green Bay Packers fan, a cheesehead. I'm not sure this is connected to our recent grocery shopping trip when he filled my cart with cheese - eight pounds of it.

Flowers in my hat
As my husband and I walked with my sister and her husband along the high grassy ridge of their newly purchased lake property (acres of land), my husband picked a small vetch flower and put in the brim of my sun hat. Then he added a small stem of purple clover and a small bud of white yarrow. We all started looking for a yellow flower to complement the bouquet and settled for a wild mustard flower. It was a pretty little bouquet and such a sweet gesture. This is one of the many reasons I love my husband.

Last July Day
I spent the last day of July in my garden - eight hours. The result is a large mound of detritus with a small portion of the garden looking great. I weeded, deadheaded, cut back and staked. The entry path and garden look great. The border of ladies' mantle undulates in its fresh green growth. The columbine foliage is no longer brown and stalky. The perennial salvia are little clumps of blue-green foliage. The pinks are no longer covered with dead flower stalks. And the Siberian iris foliage is not flopping over its neighbors.

Next I will tackle the shade garden where all sorts of weeds are lurking and the spent stalks of the hosta blooms are waiting for the compost pile.

There are two spots of incredible beauty. The bed between the hill and the pond is sparkling with a traditional mix of black-eyed susans and coneflowers, with a few late-blooming daylilies adding to the bright display. The other spot is in the shade garden where magic lilies have poked up between late blooming astilbes. The fern-like astilbe foliage anchor the bare stemmed lilies, and the pink and lavender astilbe blooms perfectly complement the colors of the lilies.

Gardening in July
My garden always looks bedraggled and overgrown in late July. The early summer flowers are spent and the foliage is flopping and brown; so I cut it down to encourage a new flush of foliage but that takes several weeks to appear. So now what? This year I went shopping for super sales on annuals, potted them up and placed them in the bare spots. I like it. Next year I think I will buy extra annuals in early spring and propagate them into "nursery pots" ready for placement in July.

I met Renee earlier this week to look at the landscape plan for her backyard. She may comment on this further, but her objectives were to eliminate some of the grass, attract birds, tie together existing elements (clumps of trees, perennial garden, deck and bog), add an understory to the trees, and screen view of neighbor's house. The designer did an excellent job with design and plant selection. Since work was underway, we headed over to her house to see the transformation. My favorite part was the bluestone patio and walk off the deck. Instead of trying to tame the bog, Joe Pye weed and filipendula rubra are being used to make the transition from wild bog to landscaped yard. A raised bed using river stone was added to the middle of the yard and planted with shrubs and plants bearing berries and seeds to attracts birds. Two clumps of trees were tied together into one large bed with a small strip of grass between it and the raised bed. On the other two sides of the raised bed are pea gravel paths edged with river stone and mulched beds. Here are some of the plants she added: Kerria, several viburnums, Henry Lauder's Walking Stick.

A friend invited me to her house this morning to discuss plant ideas for her rock garden. Before going over there, I pulled out my reference books and read up on suitable plants. When I got there, it was not a rock garden, but rather a large raised bed with fieldstone walls. I'm not a garden designer, but we had fun for several hours determining her objectives for the garden, siting the focal point, and doing a rough sketch with some plants. Her husband may be surprised to discover that he will be putting in a water garden, although she assured me that he loved doing that type of stuff. I did "borrow" some ideas from Renee's plan, but it will look totally different. I'm anxious to see how it turns out.

Yellow Belt
Ron passed his Hapkido examination last Friday night and got his yellow belt.  This has been a good experience for him.  He just glowed with the accomplishment.

Ricky's camp adventures
He was flying high when I picked him up last Friday, chattering all the way home while assuming typical cool teen poses in the car.   No letters home though -  "Didn't have time, Mom" -  but he appreciated the emails I sent him.   Arriving home, Steve asked him about camp.  Cursory answer.  I've discovered the boys talk right after an event, but their attention soon turns to other adventures and then the story dribbles out it bits and pieces.

His body is bruised and battered, but not broken.  The counselors told me that he was the target of some hazing, but it appears to have been handled well based on questioning Ricky.      Even though this was church camp, he did pick up some new words and discovered mooning.  He has not tried it out yet, but I can tell he thinks it is funny. 

I sat down this morning with the intention of adding several posts - Ricky's camp adventures, night on the riverboat, late July flower gardens, more on funeral songs - but Renee sent me an IM asking if I wanted to meet for coffee in a few minutes and look over the plan! That is the landscaping plan for her back yard.  I'm off.   I've got priorities you see. 

eh? or is it huh?
I awoke this morning to the most beautiful clear blue sky.  It was about 70 degrees and no humidity.  What a change from the week of 90 degrees with 90% humidity.  Ricky's still at camp and Ron was helping his Dad so I took advantage of the weather and free time to tend the gardens at the church. 

People often stop and talk while I'm gardening.  That is one of the blessings of gardening at the church.  Today was no different...except one woman.  "Do you do anything else with your life except take care of this garden?"  eh?  She followed that question with, "That's sedum.  It is so ugly.  I never did like sedum."  huh?  My irritation with her has disappeared, replaced by feelings of pity.  With those social skills, I suspect she has few friends.  I think I was gracious but I was so dumbfounded that I'm not sure.   

Name Games
After bantering about our names, Steve decided his Halloween costume this year would be Mothra.   Yes, my given name is Martha and I'm a mother and I like flowers. 

We decided the moth would be easier to make, but the caterpillar would be scarier.   I think this is just talk, but he is the man who built a sidewheeling river boat, so we'll see.

Has anyone seen this movie?  Somehow I missed it.

Favorite Hymns
The comments under "Blessings" made me wonder about my favorite hymns, specifically what hymns are so meaningful to me that I want them at my funeral.  With time and more thought I suspect this list will change, but here are my first thoughts:

• Amazing Grace of course would be on the list, just don't sing it to the tune of Gilligan's Island
• Be Thou My Vision has both meaningful lyrics and a haunting Celtic tune  
• It Is Well With My Soul has always been a favorite.
• And finally, the version of  Swing Low Sweet Chariot on the olds Blues CD I have
• Oops, I almost forgot Mahalia Jackson's song about what she's going to do when she gets to heaven.

What songs do you want played at your funeral?   

Who to believe?
Steve and I discussed the Berger affair this evening.  I first heard it on NPR.  He first heard it on Rush Limbaugh (which he does NOT listen to when I'm in the car).   I heard that Berger took some papers home and misplaced them, but the papers weren't important for the 9/11 commission.  Steve heard that he stuffed them down his pants like a common shoplifter. 

Blessings
Rick and I took a break during the Third Day concert at the amusement park.  He looked at me and said, "Let's hurry back, Mom, and continue getting blessed by God."
 
Third Day is a high-powered Christian rock band with a high energy show, with a southern rock flavor.  It was one of my favorite bands at the three day Spirit Fest concert, but I knew a few of their songs from singing them at church.
 
One of my regular readers mentioned in her blog that she doesn't like Christian music.  I didn't comment, but I firmly believe there is no such thing as Christian music, only Christian lyrics.  The music of many of our "ancient" hymns started as bar songs with Christian lyrics replacing the bawdy words.  I think those who don't like "Christian music" usually don't like contemporary music regardless of the words.  But Christian music can be pop, rock, bluegrass, classical, folks, and gospel (of course).  I can't think of a single Christian jazz song or band, but it may exist somewhere.
 

Skateboarding for Jesus
I delivered Ricky to the Outer Edge Skate Boarding Church Camp this afternoon.  He's staying in a geodesic dome tent (with a wooden floor) with 11 other boys.  No electricity and no running water.  They will be traveling to area skate parks.  This is his first time at camp and the first separation from his twin other than overnight stays at grandparents.   I think it was harder for me to leave him than for him to have me leave.  At least I can send him emails and I sent him with stamped addressed envelopes with the hope that he will write home.

Tillers
Misunderstandings can occur when a boat person (my husband) says to a garden person (me), "That tiller sure worked great today." For a moment I thought I had a new garden bed, but he had perfected a way to steer his gasoline-powered, sidewheeled river boat.

I'm Back
I survived three days at the amusement park.  Then one day home for laundry and repacking and the boys and I headed off to the lake.   Is this a linguistic quirk of northern Indiana or does everyone say "The Lake" when it could be one of hundreds in the region?  We rented a cottage on a small fishing lake and the boys weren't sure they wanted to go because no speed boats are allowed.  In fact, trolling motors aren't even allowed.  You have to paddle or row or pedal your boat.   They had such a great time they didn't want to come home midweek - fishing, kayaking, swimming, Scrabble, birding.  But I insisted they come home, because my husband had arranged for me to have the last three days at the lake with my girlfriend.  It was a much needed rest and now I'm ready for the rest of the summer.     

Summer Fun
The boys and I are off to an amusement park for three days and two nights with the church youth group. I'm bringing four books. Hope that helps see me through. It is suppose to be hot, hot, hot and humid. I suspect I will spend most of my time at the water park, reading. Well, that's where I told people they would find me. I'm looking forward to the evening concerts though.

Plant Talk
"I have found my spiritual gift" said a friend after working in the church gardens. "Deadheading."

I've thought about this as I've snipped spent flower stalks in my garden this week. As much as I love flowers, there is pleasure also in cleaning up the plant after its display, tranforming my ragged garden into a rich tapestry of foliage. Some plants I let go to seed because I want more next year; others I snip immediately to encourage a flush of new growth and perhaps more blooms. Confession: I sometimes thank the plants for their beautiful display and wish them well as I cut the flower stalk, clean up dead leaves and inspect for bugs.

When Ron was little, he helped me plant tulips. As he put the bulbs into the ground, he'd say, "Go to sleep little bulb." And as he patted soil over them, he'd say, "See you in the spring." I started to laugh, until I realized he was mimicing me. I wasn't even aware that I talked to the bulbs as I planted them. Nothing like children to make you aware of your behaviors.

Home Projects
The view of house, after crossing the creek, has improved dramatically with some simple but intensive maintenance projects last week. The biggest was handwashing the siding. Yes, I know we could have used a power washer and chemicals, but it needed the intense attention of a scrub brush and cloth, similar to floors needing an occasional hand scrubbing instead of the routine mopping. Of course, we dripped all over the windows, so they are (mostly) freshly cleaned. Then a few paint touch-ups and the house just shines!

Now we are tackling Steve's workshop, replacing the industrial siding with vinyl that matches the house. Steve runs an efficient crew and the boys are learning a lot, including a practical application of geometry to calculate the area of the gable ends to determine how much siding we need to purchase.

They are also learning about working hard for eight hours. The first morning we got up early and put in four long hours and then broke for a leisurely lunch. The boys thought the workday was done, but they were in for a surprise when we went back at it for another four hours.

Love In A Time Of Danger

Baldilocks links to this must-read post. Here's the teaser.

Sean does not like it when I call him a 9/11 Victim. He tells me he's not a victim. His coworkers who died were victims. His wife of ten years was a victim. He was just there when it happened.

When we are together, I ask him questions about her. He is patient with me, explaining their relationship, not diminishing it just because she is no longer here, which I appreciate. I listen, trying to understand how it must feel to be in his skin and to live through that day and the thousand days that have passed. A few weeks ago, while in New York, I sat on the counter of his modern kitchen while he poured glasses of red wine. On the fridge was a snapshot of his wife and their son taken in Central Park that September. She's tiny, with a brown ponytail, bright brown eyes, and a natural, genuinely happy grin. I didn't feel like an interloper, exactly. Maybe an observer. A witness. Had things been different, she is the kind of woman who might be one of my best friends.

Instead, I'm dating her husband.

Go read it all.